Yesterday my friend Buck “Daddy” Rogers did a guest post for me. I sent him two photos and had him choose which one he wanted to write about for the Photo-A-Day Post. He offered to help me out again today because he knew what a tough day we would have. I was tempted but with writing God’s Promise a few days ago I knew I had to write today’s post, if not for me then for all those Dad’s out there who may be facing what we are experiencing right now.
This morning Allison, Eva, Marcia and Dan went to morning Mass. Our parish priest Fr. Dave is a very good friend. I’ve known him since I was in High School and he was the chaplain there. Fr. Dave has this fantastic way about him and he has been so good to our family. When Allison and I first learned about problems with this pregnancy we turned to Fr. Dave for a prayer session. That ended up being a good long chat session with some strong prayer at the end. Today after Mass we stuck around and prayed for the baby and for Allison’s safety during the procedure. We were both scared to death.
Leading up to the surgery today we tried to keep up a sense of normalcy around the house. As normal as it can be when I am finishing up work for clients and packing for Blog World Expo and where Allison’s parents are at the house (which as been a godsend). Allison’s parents took Eva to visit some of their friends and they had a very nice day together. This gave us time at the hospital and some time to return to the house and get settled before Eva returned.
I took Allison to the hospital at 11:30 and we went through registration, some labwork and over to day surgery. Allison was IV’d around 1:00pm. Once that was in the anesthesiologist came and I kissed her good luck. I was left there as she was wheeled away, literally left holding the bag, her purse. Just before her pre-surgery workup was complete Allison gave me her finger rosary. I put this on my ring finger (my wedding ring is on the way) so I could hold on to it while she was in surgery.
Being left there in the pre-surgery area seeing Allison being wheeled away was heartbreaking. In my short time as a Dad I’ve learned that much of that time is spent waiting and watching. Becoming a father you watch and you wait as your child is born. Sure you might “assist” by holding your wife’s leg or by cutting the umbilical cord but in all you are part of the scenery. When your child is small and they are upset or hurt they call for mommy as you wait for your moment to give them hugs and kisses to make them feel better, but it isn’t the same. So today as I watched and waited I thought about how much of being a Dad is the same way.
After the procedure was complete the doctor found me in the waiting room. He told me that the procedure went well and that Allison was awake and would be in recovery for about an hour and then she’d be fed and prepped to go home. Great, when can I see her? I thought that I’d be able to be with her once she woke up. I was wrong. It was very upsetting not to be able to be with Allison directly after the procedure. I was stuck there, in the waiting room, watching and waiting. Eventually the phone rang. I was alone in the waiting room and let it ring. I didn’t figure that it would be for me. Eventually as it kept ringing I walked over to where it was (it was behind a post) and there I saw signs that said if it rings pick it up. I picked it up and there was no one there. I waited a while and it rang again, it was the nurse telling me that Allison would be another 30 minutes and then she’s be out. More waiting, more watching, more wondering. About another half hour goes by and a nurse comes in to have me pull my car around. I can finally see Allison.
I’m no expert but if you are a Dad and you are facing this situation yourself here are some things to consider:
- Talk about how you are feeling with your wife. (It is perfectly fine to be scared)
- If you can’t talk to your wife talk to someone. (Talking about things does not make you weak)
- Ask for help. (You do not have to go it alone)
- Pray. (Whether it be God, Yahweh or Thor there is a higher power)
- Be There. (Afraid of hospitals, suck it up and be there)
Allison is discharged and she is doing okay. She needs to take it easy for a few days but otherwise she is in good spirits. We would like to thank all of our friends and family for their love, help, faith and support.
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