People in airport security lines…

are both rude and annoying this morning. I am at the Tallahassee airport (free wi-fi, cool I can vent for free.) this morning. I just came through security. When I say that this is a small airport I mean haircare and tire store municipal airport small (okay maybe not that small but it only has about 10 gates.) So I am in the security line and genius #1 is trying to stuff his bag into those grey boxes. PEOPLE the grey boxes are for laptops, not your oversized bag that should have been checked in the first place. Then the genius #2 in front of me can’t get her stuff together in a timely manner so I politely wait for her to compose her pile of junk. As I am stepping up to the table to perform my ritual of efficiency and amazing security line skill and another woman cuts right in front of me. WHAT! Excuse me! Hell no you did not just cut me you snitty witch. We’re the only four people in line was there a need for you to get through security half a second faster? Honestly the first plane doesn’t leave here for another 30 minutes. I am so annoyed.

So here are some airline tips for you.

1.) Get to the airport early, your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part. That goes for anything in life plan or get left behind.
2.) use some decorum people, don’t be rude snotty or complain about the security line. This is a fact of life, deal with it. Besides I don’t want to hear you.
3.) Read the signs. The security line is not difficult, there are big signs with pictures everywhere, look at them.
4.) Get ready to go through the metal detector. Take everything, EVERYTHING! Out of your pockets. I’m gonna lose my mind the next time I wait behind someone who sets the metal detector off like a Vegas slot machine for five minutes before they finally realize that the set of keys in their pocket set off the detector. If this is you then you should get a full cavity search and maybe the TSA official might find your brain in one of your cavities, you know the one.
5.) Don’t cut, not even Chinese cuts from back in grade school, it was rude then, it is rude now.
6.) If you have a complaint about something and are going to write a letter to the airport, do that. Don’t tell me about it I do not care. Shut up and write the dang letter. Actually don’t complain at all, your complaintss aren’t original and your whiny voice isn’t pleasant to listen to.

So if you follow these simple rules you most likely won’t piss me off, too much. And our flights will be a positive experience.

Speed Reading with New Technology

The technique of speed reading is exploding online. With the technology of Rapid Serial Visual Presentation (RSVP) you can speed read up to 700 words per minute and comprehend it all. With RSVP text is brought you your eyes unlike traditional reading where your eyes move towards the text. With practice RSVP may help you to read more quickly and with greater comprehension on your PC. The cool thing is that the words just keep coming at you and your mind can absorb them without running into two problems with regular reading which are regression and sub-vocalization. Sub-vocalization is the process of speaking each word inside your mind. The phonetics method of reading, the way we are taught in school, teaches you to pronounce each letter in a word to form a complete word. Regression is when the reader re-reads either consciously or sub-consciously.

I read an article about RSVP in Mobile magazine. They have an RSVP simulator on their website. Check it out here. So I checked it out and found a real speed reading program called Speed Reader Plus. I installed it on my Pocket PC and gave it a try. I read two short stories this morning. They were An occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge and one called If You Lived Here. Both together took me about 20 minutes total. I was up to 400 words a minute.

What I really want is the ability to speed read my Microsoft Reader books. I was unsuccessful in finding software that would do that. If anyone can find a speed reading software program for Microsoft Reader that would be great.

So I ended up finding Project Guttenberg. Project Guttenberg’s mission statement is “To encourage the creation and distribution of eBooks.” Project Guttenberg is the first and largest single collection of free electronic books, or eBooks. Michael Hart, founder of Project Guttenberg, invented eBooks in 1971 and continues to inspire the creation of eBooks and related technologies today.

I wasn’t sure what to start looking for so I picked through the top 100. Books are public domain books, lots of classics. I picked up.

I wonder if I can read any one of those books by the time I get home tomorrow? I wonder if my battery will last long enough.