I’ve been being challenged lately. Challenged to go after what makes me happy. Challenged to face financial realities. Challenged to push my comfortable limits. But I don’t see myself facing those challenges.
Whenever I start dreaming big about a project, a grand plan or a scheme reality comes crashing back down on me. It might not be actual reality, but rather the reality that I have constructed (with help) over the years. For instance, I’m feeling like I cannot do something I love and be financially responsible to my family. Because of that I stay where I am and continue to be miserable. I’m in a cage of my own making and I can’t seem to get freedom for myself. I think of the line from Mary Poppins that Bert tells the kids. “They make cages in all shapes and sizes, bank shaped cages.” I feel like I am in cubicle shaped cage and I don’t think that supercalifragilisticexpealidocious is gonna get me out of it.
Personal wearing of my heart on my sleeve revelation over, ‘Night All.
Scratch that. My coach Kim Ann Curtin did an exercise with me and I was to think of myself as 5 different things. One of those was a person. This person, Jess Harnell, the lead singer of Rock Sugar, popped into my head. Whenever I’ve seen or heard anything about him it has been that he is the life of the party and a real in the moment and loving life kind of guy. So I have decided to start thinking of dreams from Jess’ standpoint. A Big Dream isn’t impossible. It simply cannot be impossible or else why would we have the dream in the first place. To beat our heads against walls? No, I don’t think so. There is a way to get tot he dream if you are focused and want it enough.
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